I’m very much not the betting type, somehow, growing up, I made myself believe luck ain’t really my thing so I don’t go near gambling, betting or involving in any form of scheme and not even getting general bonuses from network providers further made me believe even when I see others around me getting them (lol). But, one thing I’ve ever gambled on is Myself. My pollyannaish attitude to life always make me believe I can get through any situation or stage I find myself. There is always hope for every new day.
Betting on yourself is almost always as a result of Self-confidence. The positive attitude you hold about yourself with realistic views that allows you to move forward and achieve your goals. With Self-confidence, even if things don’t go your way, you still believe that eventually, somehow, some way, they will.
For me, I practically visualize myself being and acting confident, and achieving what I wish by confidently going after it. Will there be fears? Yes. Will I be certain of the results? Not every time. But, I’ll do it anyways. Sweaty palms; Wobbly feet; Heart in my mouth. When negative thoughts and why it won’t work start popping up;
I self-talk myself to stop thinking and reframe my thoughts into positive ones, I eulogise myself for actually trying, I evaluate myself for stronger sense of self and I take risks by looking at new experiences as an opportunity to learn. Understanding that failure is a guaranteed part of the learning process and accepting this will reduce the frustration and disappointment I may feel along the way.
Betting on yourself doesn’t imply you’re unrealistic about yourself and continue reading.
Getting caught up with your past victories is one of those things you cannot afford to do. It is important that you learn to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul by taking over new territories. There will always be fresh battles waiting for your conquest. While on the other hand, it is also important you get over your past failures too. Process every experience of defeat as a lesson on how not to do things. You are not a failure!
A few experiences of defeat are not enough to change your triumphant nature. Get over the past and move on with your destiny.
★ Thank God for the victories and breakthroughs that you have experienced in the past.
★ Disengage from your past.Continue reading.
I’ve never been a fan of/for stereotypes. I’m a maverick true and through. For some, they prefer to be termed ROGUE, others choose MISFITSamongst other concepts, I mostly prefer to refer to myself as NOT YOUR REGULAR TYPE OF GIRL.Generally, people who are seen as different are those not comfortable with their surroundings and are seen to be disturbingly different than others not because their choices have negative effects on them or others but because they dare to be pragmatic about their lifestyle and not just the usual banality. No need to hoodwink themselves about choices they will be doleful about. And no matter where their choices take them, they remain full of character and integrity, steadfast without reservation, without stopping, why? Because, they realize that this is more than an iconoclastic behavior, fad, evanescent, or a trendy term. This is a lifestyle.
Just because everyone you know is doing a particular thing or having a particular thing doesn’t mean its the best for you. Sometimes, what you see is just a ploy, most of these people wish they chose otherwise but gets stuck in the moment that all they could do is just move on with their choices. But, in a bid to feel among, people make whimsical choices and prefer to take what they think to be the safer route because they know some persons doing so too.
Maybe, some of us aren’t just meant to make conventional choices. Maybe standing alone and different isn’t such a bad idea afterall. Maybe you are what the crowd needs to see to know they are following the wrong way. Maybe the worst decision you’ll ever make is living your life in conformity with the laid down norms. Continue reading.
For sometime now, “Happiness” has been a very heavy topic on my mind. Majorly because of my personal state of mind (I can literally call myself a Queen at mood swings) and day to day news too (especially the series of suicides and topics on depression trending everywhere). I struggled a lot with writing this post out of personal consciousness but after some random talks with a couple of people, I figured I really need to address it so I finally took time to look into the concept of happiness.
Happiness can be said to be relative in meaning because what it means to one person can be different to another, but, there are some generalized definition according to some scientific disciplines;
Psychology defines happiness as a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy and also to a sense of meaning and satisfaction from life.
Philosophy and (western) religion defines happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion.
Economists also developed numerous surveys, indices, and equations to let us know which nations and people are the happiest. It is believed that factors like individual income, social security, employment, relationships, children, freedom, and leisure, have a big impact on our happiness.
In my opinion, happiness is a state of mind that you have to choose. It doesn’t matter what you see or hear, its a choice you need to be purposeful about. This, I can buttress from the psychologists’ view that says, circumstances are responsible for only about 10% of our personal levels of happiness. Studies have shown that regardless of what happens to people, their happiness levels tend to return to what they were before the event in about two months. This phenomenon is called the hedonic treadmill or hedonic adaptation Continue reading
Before you continue reading this post, I should let you know it has nothing to do with Self-righteousness. Thanks!
While studying in my room this evening, I hBefore you continue reading this post, I should let you know it has nothing to do with Self-righteousness. Thanks!
While studying in my room this evening, I had a stray thought to one of my girlfriends and then I thought of every other ones and then I built on the thoughts further and felt so grateful to God for gifting me with such relationships. And then I further thought of the person I might have been if I’ve had a different set of ladies in my life (I’m pretty sure I won’t have this blog nor will you be reading this). My stray thoughts made me realize I am who I am today partly because of the people in my inner circle and honestly, I see it as a favour from God.
Sometimes, when people (especially men) talk about women (like a conversation I had with some bunch over the weekend), I usually ask them, “where do you go to for you to meet these women you’re so bitter about?“. I mean, I get it that there are lots of women out there that justifies these wrong notions about the feminine gender. Women who abuses their spouses both verbally and physically, women who cheat, women who are deep into crimes, and the list is endless (at least my recent contacts and exposures had made me seen things more clearly). But in the midst of these, there are still some good women who are all about the good stuffs (nobody is entirely perfect but some are really putting in the effort to be a better version of themselves).
I have a friend who recently got married as a virgin (hello, nobody says you’re not entitled to marriage cos you’re deflowered or virginity is a criteria for a good home nor does it cover for character flaws), but the point is, it’s worth celebrating (this is 21st century where sexuality is being exploited more negatively) so, if there’s a girl still vintage about it, I believe she should be applauded. Continue reading.
So, in my last post, I started a discussion on my 24th lesson and I labeled it “Be Purposeful“. I talked briefly about purpose and gave some ideas on some things to be proactive about in order to live our desired purposeful lives. Like I said in my previous posts, these points are not listed in order of importance, I write them as they come to mind, they are all important and I’ll try to wrap it all up in this post.
Living purposefully focuses on growth and improvement. You have to keep moving forward to achieve this. Naturally, you experience fear of failure, but, when you are living purposefully, you come to understand that you learn from every result. You accept full responsibility for the results you achieve. You breathe life into your craft when you practice it everyday as a lifestyle and not just a job. It could be a physical, mental, or spiritual practice, and it could be all three, but, practice defines our life and what our purpose is for living.
What differentiates a life of fulfillment and that of discontentment ultimately comes down to our intention to practice growth every day. We see beyond the limitations presented by our mind or body. We make decisions because we know what we want from life and keep at it.
5. Work With Your Standard
When you’re purposeful, you know who you are, your purpose, your values, your goals. You dedicate your life to pursue these and when making tough decisions comes up, you are not under pressure. You have standards set for yourself and act in accordance with your values. You seek supportive collaborative relationships aimed at achieving mutual benefits, you don’t have need for competition, comparison or jealousy. Your standard includes continuous growth, you constantly develop new knowledge and skills which can be of use to serve others while you work on achieving your personal goals and objectives. And you see the beauty in life, you appreciate every moment. . . Continue reading.
For the past 3 years now, I’ve made it a birthday ritual yearly to write at least a lesson I learnt over the year(s) and this year is not going to be an exception. I’m going to be sharing my 24th lesson and I hope you get to pick one or two points for use.
Lesson 24: Be Purposeful
Often times, when we talk about people living a purposeful life, what comes to mind are successes like being awarded as the best actor/actress, winning a competitive event, acing in a particular field, getting promoted in an organization, and the list goes on and on. But, does it have to be when we are fabulously successful at some glamorous profession before we can feel purposeful in life, or is there more to it?