So, in my last post, I started a discussion on my 24th lesson and I labeled it “Be Purposeful“. I talked briefly about purpose and gave some ideas on some things to be proactive about in order to live our desired purposeful lives. Like I said in my previous posts, these points are not listed in order of importance, I write them as they come to mind, they are all important and I’ll try to wrap it all up in this post.
Living purposefully focuses on growth and improvement. You have to keep moving forward to achieve this. Naturally, you experience fear of failure, but, when you are living purposefully, you come to understand that you learn from every result. You accept full responsibility for the results you achieve. You breathe life into your craft when you practice it everyday as a lifestyle and not just a job. It could be a physical, mental, or spiritual practice, and it could be all three, but, practice defines our life and what our purpose is for living.
What differentiates a life of fulfillment and that of discontentment ultimately comes down to our intention to practice growth every day. We see beyond the limitations presented by our mind or body. We make decisions because we know what we want from life and keep at it.
5. Work With Your Standard
When you’re purposeful, you know who you are, your purpose, your values, your goals. You dedicate your life to pursue these and when making tough decisions comes up, you are not under pressure. You have standards set for yourself and act in accordance with your values. You seek supportive collaborative relationships aimed at achieving mutual benefits, you don’t have need for competition, comparison or jealousy. Your standard includes continuous growth, you constantly develop new knowledge and skills which can be of use to serve others while you work on achieving your personal goals and objectives. And you see the beauty in life, you appreciate every moment. . . Continue reading.
For the past 3 years now, I’ve made it a birthday ritual yearly to write at least a lesson I learnt over the year(s) and this year is not going to be an exception. I’m going to be sharing my 24th lesson and I hope you get to pick one or two points for use.
Lesson 24: Be Purposeful
Often times, when we talk about people living a purposeful life, what comes to mind are successes like being awarded as the best actor/actress, winning a competitive event, acing in a particular field, getting promoted in an organization, and the list goes on and on. But, does it have to be when we are fabulously successful at some glamorous profession before we can feel purposeful in life, or is there more to it?
Earlier last week, I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends and it was about how she’s having a hard time making some real grownup decisions. How she’s not so sure about what to do or how to act. What to say. The effects of the past and present choices. . .
Honestly, when we had the conversation, I was in a very good place to talk to her. It felt like I know just the exact thing to say to her. At that moment, I was almost sure of what I want for myself and even the ones I wasn’t sure of, I was at a place of peace with myself and the right mind to share with another what I think works. Well, that was it until last weekend (during and after my grandma’s burial – May her soul rest in peace), I had moments of Reflection (which I’ve been having since the beginning of the month by-the-way). I reflected on the past one year and years before that and I realize my next birthday is just few days (well, I drafted this post days to my birthday but couldn’t post it due to bad network) away and then I got coldfeet on some major decisions I thought I already have figured out. Suddenly, I’m not just sure about a lot of things. Suddenly, I want to hide behind the shadows of juvenile days. Suddenly, I desire days I don’t have to dance to the tunes I make. .
Then, I remembered a friend was at this point too earlier on and I helped out. Maybe its time I take a dose of my own medicine, afterall, it worked already. So, below are excerpt from the conversation especially my part of it and the part I’m administering to my soul now because I’ve got a lot of grownup decisions to make too and I need a taste of me;
* First, don’t let the pressure get to you. Always remember its nothing but a phase that will roll over like the ones in the past.
* And for major decisions, some times (most times), its better to concentrate on the smaller goals and channel your positive energy into it. Achievable short goals has a way of reminding you how great you are rather than weighing yourself down with long term goals that drains you.
* Make decisions you want not because its an expectation of people from you but because you are sure you want to.
* We all have those moments of doubts, fears and uncertainties but just like moments, it eventually passes and if its the same girl (person) I’m fond of, you’ll come out on the other side wiser, stronger, bolder, better and finer.
* And last, remember no matter what you’re facing at the moment, you’re not alone, you are enough and God has put in you all you’ll ever need to get through; Strength, Wisdom, Peace, Tranquility, Joy, Perseverance, Love and the required Grace.
* I love you always and forever💖
Reading this ☝ and sharing it now just made me smile. Just like I’m trusting God with my grownup decisions, I hope you find Peace with yours too.
P. S.; Share your experience too and how you got over that moment of fear, doubt and uncertainty in the comment box. Thanks!
Hi guys, happy sunday!
So, I started a Leadership course that has to do with Marketing earlier this week and I’ve been having a great time studying. Amongst the curriculum for the first week are lectures on Understanding Customers and Creating Valuable Brands. The lecturer further taught by suggesting some videos to watch and this post is as a result of those videos.
Dove is a product introduced to customers by Unilever and after a while, the products started having competitors. Rather than simply focusing on cleansing, moisturizing and nourishing skin, Dove focused on bringing out the real beauty in all women. Rather than simply selling soap, Dove seeks to change the way women viewed themselves, and view beauty. By identifying with a group of customers, gaining insights into their hopes, dreams and fears just as Dove understands how women feel about beauty transform Dove into a multi-billion dollars business (Which is also not the main reason for this post too – but I’m sure you’ve picked one or two points).
There is a way we see ourselves that people don’t even see especially women. I’m not so sure if its as a result what of people have gone through, the words that has sticked closer to their soul, the failures and hurts they couldn’t get over, but somehow, its just easier to be self judgemental about oneself and this goes a long way into how people find it hard to really love themselves for who they are. There is a continuous search for a perfection that is clouding the acceptance of the beauty they can’t see.
This self disruptive attitude has caused a lot of people (especially women) so much already. It has lead to Low self-esteem, Depression, Anxiety, Anorexia, Substance addiction, etc. The study made by Dove made some women actually see how beautiful they are when shown the difference between what they think of themselves and what others think of them. Watch “Dove Real Beauty Sketches | You’re more beautiful”
Some didn’t even believe they look that young and beautiful. When told to analyse what they think of the images described by other people, they said nicer things.
Another study was done where different women all over the world was tested on their perception of themselves if they are Beautiful or on Average. Watch “Dove Choose Beautiful | Women all over the world”. A whole lot of women chose Average and it’s because they just don’t see themselves as beautiful. Beautiful seems too far-fetched for them, they’ve placed themselves on the scale of average because they already have a modeled features in mind that they don’t think they fit in. After failing the test, a lot of them felt bad about their choice and said they’ll choose otherwise if given another chance.
The truth is we all are beautiful in our own ways and accepting whatever our flaws are as part of what makes us unique goes a long way into living with the right attitude and energy towards life. You are only as strong as you think you are. What you think and say is what you are (no gimmicks).
Shine on Beautiful! 💕💞💕
I think one of the easiest thing to do as humans is to dream. It’s very normal and easy to build castles in the air and imagine yourself in that sleek black Porsche cruising the town and even helping the poor (blah blah blah) but, the honest question is, how hard are you working towards owing one or doing that dream??! In life, it’s not just enough to be a dreamer, you have to be a doer too. Who would have taught Joseph with all those beautiful dreams will be sold for slavery and even jailed before living his dream? But, truth is in those moments he was being trained for the destined post and that’s him working).
Success don’t just come knocking on your door in your sleep, uhhhhmmmmm! NO! Nor does it come beaming at you while tanning your skin by the beach side, I don’t think so. You’ve got to pick yourself off that bed and go out to work because even your talents are useless if you don’t put them to work (Remember the bible story on Talent, Matthew 25:14-28). The multiplying factor only works on the Talent put to use.
If Steve Jobs had restricted himself to just his dreams then APPLE wouldn’t have been birthed.
If that your particular favourite actor didn’t go for his/her first audition, you’d probably not see them on your screen today.
If Da Vinci didn’t paint the Mona Lisa even after getting inspired no one will behold the beauty sight.
If Ayo Makun & Kelvin Harts didn’t work hard giving appearances in shows and events no matter how funny they are, their talent is a waste.
If Thomas Edison didn’t work hard to invent Electric Light Bulb then I wonder how we’ll illuminate a dark room.
Bottom line: In REALITY you’ll work before having success, so wake up and quit dreaming to start doing. The beauty of dreaming and learning is when it all leads to action and trust me, the world needs MEN & WOMEN with dreams like yours who are ready to ACTUALIZE IT!
For over two hours, typing the first word has been so hard. Truth is, I don’t know where to start from. If you’ve ever had ‘Writer’s block‘, then you’ll understand what it is I’m going through for the past 3 weeks. Its been a serious struggle between trying to think/picking interest in something or event, stay focus, conjure the images together and write. I mean everything and everywhere just went *blank*. I’ve tried so hard to force it until I realized I was just running on a spot. I need a break!
Since I can’t write, I can as well just read so I picked a book I got December, 2017 to read, “Eat the 🍪… Buy the 👠 by Joyce Meyer” and amazingly, its just the right book for the break. I realized I’ve been so caught up in my so many activities at a time that I’ve hardly given myself enough credit by attending to my emotional needs thereby making me run dry and exhausted and overwhelmed which lead to the Block. I need a refreshing of my spirit, body and soul. Give me what me need to push on and go a little further, get things done and be inspired.
Most of the times, we see it as being wasteful or that we don’t deserve the luxury of celebrating ourselves in the process of our endeavours and would rather we give someone else than take care of our needs.
Sometimes, all we need to do to celebrate our souls, this might not even cost a dime. You could just take a long nap, go fishing, visit a spa, watch comedy and laugh healthy, go swimming, buy yourself that new pair of shoes, or the tiny silver earrings you saw the other day, buy yourself a cup of 🍦and pepperoni 🍕 and the list is endless. Its not like you get to do this everyday.
The point is, its tiring doing all these bulky stuffs all by yourself with no break and you can’t expect someone else to give you that break your being yearns for although its helpful sometimes, it doesn’t come as often as you need it nor always address the need like you’d know what you want. But, the best way is you learning how to celebrate your own progress so you have strength to begin the next one without resentment.
Now I have a better angle to deal with the block and see it as a break time where I get to refresh myself.
Leave your comments and feedback. Share your opinions too. Thanks!
Recently, I had to relocate from home to my place of National service and this involved a lot of packing. My brother (he did most of my packing tho, thanks again!) had to pack some things separately to dispose off because I’ll never need them, they are junks I’ve kept over the years (partially because I just hate to loose things, even the ones I don’t need). They would have been extra load, taking extra space, consuming extra energy.
This recent episode further buttressed one of the lessons growth has been teaching me that to achieve so much in life; You need to cut a lot of habits off. Lay off some friendships. Freeze some unhealthy lifestyle. Let go of some harsh words said to you. Break off a bad relationship. Surround yourself with only people who believe in you. Repel from every negativity clouding you. Deal only with positivities and the necessities. Simply because, with too much junks here and there you won’t be able to get a lot of things done in time and effectively. The so much baggage tends to weigh you down, limits how far you can go and how fast you’ll get there. I’m sure you don’t want to live life getting dragged down by all these, free some space in your life and enjoy the journey.
This is not me being overly romantic when I say it’s not early to start preparing for marriage and kids irrespective of the gender. Just out of no where I suddenly realize how much I enjoy Parenting (all thanks to my kid sister who I’m 17years older than by the way). She made me see motherhood in a whole different amazing ways.
I practically skip shelves with relationship books when I go to bookshops cos it doesn’t really look like a big deal kinda to me *shrugs*, so, I usually end up buying books on Christianity, leadership, attitude and business most times, neglecting that one important part of life RELATIONSHIP.
But amongst the growth process being 20-something has done to me is realizing the need to balance up. The need to buy and read good books on relationships and marriage and family that is supposed to last a lifetime or click on that blog link or go for that conference. If you are like I used to be trust me there is so much you don’t know (Hollywood alone is never going to provide the best guide, sometimes you need to look closely at the people around and sometimes you sure have to pay a price to learn too). Even those who are years deep in marriages say the same.
I’m not a pathetic feminist that doesn’t yearn for marriage. I believe my kids deserve to have better parents than I did, even if mine were the best. Your marriage deserves to be happy and sexy and long lasting. You deserve a lifetime of strong bonds with the people who share blood and life and ups and downs with you.
But, you can’t just expect you’ll wake up one day to be that better parent you want to be to your kids. You’ve got to prepare for it now. We should crave to be a better generation when it comes to parenting especially for people who knows how it feels to be a product of a bad (sour) marriage, it can be frustrating, painful & scary. I’m sure you don’t want your kids near that spot. We are in the age where information is easy to get. Go online and download articles. Check blogs on relationship. Read books. Ask questions. Go for seminars. Learn from others, not by making your own mistakes too.
You don’t run from your past and avoid repeating mistakes by running from them.
You resolve issues by facing them head on and gathering the wealth of information that was not available before. I got a book by Gary Chapman, “THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED” (you should lay your hands on that book too) for my 21st birthday gift and that launched me into reading many more books related. In fact, it was like my January was tagged for Relationship because of the books I read.
I pray for my future family already. I pray for the little humans in my body waiting for growth. I sow seeds for them in advance. I love twins and I already have awesome names for them. I have specific names for my beautiful girl and handsome boy and I can’t explain the excitement from just the thought of it. I build walls around them with the words and promises of God.
It’s not too early for you too, nor too late.
Happy New Month!
I suddenly realize that I don’t have time (note; Not that I’m so old to get things done but then, I’m also not too young to have a lot done). You don’t either. There is nothing like being too young. I started writing around age 10 and now I wish I had believe in my writing and my stories and my voice earlier. I kind of wish I had gone into a relationship earlier (maybe?). I wish I had started saving earlier. I wish I had nurtured my entrepreneurship spirit earlier. I wish I had dropped some friends earlier. I wish I had been proactive about a lot of things.
Going forward, I’m not going to capture a caterpillar in a jar and keep a butterfly hostage.
I’m truly living and going for what I believe in and my dreams. No more startup excuses, No fears, No inhibitions.
Everyday looks mundane and the same and nothing changes yet when you look back, everything has changed. Truth is, sometimes, we get lost while searching for ourselves and we sometimes feel like we don’t have it together (Real life-scary feelings). You will not always have it all figured out and everything won’t always go as planned. Instead of toiling so hard, stressing about the future, while not focus on what you have at hand. That particular thing you’re skilled with today, do it right. Stop wasting so much time thinking you are saving it for the future.
The future is now. Live like you don’t have time. Because you don’t.