Everyone is fighting for the girl child, creating NGOs for that cause. Don’t get me wrong, I’m equally passionate about it. I personally believe that empowering the girl-child and educating her will liberate her from the ignorance that makes her victims of abuse, child-parenting (early marriage), sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and so on. But, we often forget that male and female created Him them and somehow, we’ve forgotten that the girl-child we’re striving for is one half of the society. To truly get it right, both parties need to be nurtured right. Empowering the girls won’t be enough if the boys remain uneducated and we’ll only end up raising superwomen with weak men, hence, leading to a society littered with over-burdened wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, bosses, subordinates and friends, where women will be wearied, stressed and drained from having to fix themselves as well as fix an adult who ought to be fixing himself and fixing things around the house or office.
I recently wrote an article on Violence Against Women (VAW) for a women activism programme where I wrote about my personal knowledge and experiences with VAW, the causes and panacea. Amongst the panacea I wrote about was equal education for both genders. The cycle of raising strong daughters and weak sons is wrong, sons who grew to become nonchalant and feast away while the women work. I believe this education starts with the family, the picture painted by parents and how the kids are raised. Boy-child needs attention as do the girl-child, they should be equally educated on the impacts of stunted dreams, violence, unwanted pregnancy, rape, addictions, etc.
Sons should be raised to be the picture of the husbands you desire for your daughters. Sons should be raised to be accountable for their actions and not feel untouchable for shameful acts just because of their gender. They should be educated on the importance of staying committed, loving and providing for their family exclusively such that when they get support from their spouses, her input will be very much appreciated. Sons should be taught that they are the sole protector of their homes, hence, will not run off to chase pleasure with the notion that ‘my wife will handle it‘.
I’m very much not the betting type, somehow, growing up, I made myself believe luck ain’t really my thing so I don’t go near gambling, betting or involving in any form of scheme and not even getting general bonuses from network providers further made me believe even when I see others around me getting them (lol). But, one thing I’ve ever gambled on is Myself. My pollyannaish attitude to life always make me believe I can get through any situation or stage I find myself. There is always hope for every new day.
Betting on yourself is almost always as a result of Self-confidence. The positive attitude you hold about yourself with realistic views that allows you to move forward and achieve your goals. With Self-confidence, even if things don’t go your way, you still believe that eventually, somehow, some way, they will.
For me, I practically visualize myself being and acting confident, and achieving what I wish by confidently going after it. Will there be fears? Yes. Will I be certain of the results? Not every time. But, I’ll do it anyways. Sweaty palms; Wobbly feet; Heart in my mouth. When negative thoughts and why it won’t work start popping up;
I self-talk myself to stop thinking and reframe my thoughts into positive ones, I eulogise myself for actually trying, I evaluate myself for stronger sense of self and I take risks by looking at new experiences as an opportunity to learn. Understanding that failure is a guaranteed part of the learning process and accepting this will reduce the frustration and disappointment I may feel along the way.
Betting on yourself doesn’t imply you’re unrealistic about yourself and continue reading.
Getting caught up with your past victories is one of those things you cannot afford to do. It is important that you learn to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul by taking over new territories. There will always be fresh battles waiting for your conquest. While on the other hand, it is also important you get over your past failures too. Process every experience of defeat as a lesson on how not to do things. You are not a failure!
A few experiences of defeat are not enough to change your triumphant nature. Get over the past and move on with your destiny.
★ Thank God for the victories and breakthroughs that you have experienced in the past.
★ Disengage from your past.Continue reading.
If it didn’t happen to me, I would have argued that it’s a hearsay, but here I am writing about it. I’ve not been feeling too good for over a month now, but I mostly just attribute it to stress and harsh weather, so, I usually just rest it out and after a while, I’ll feel better. Until last week, I started having nightmares (that I wake up from, feeling the physical exhaustion from the struggles in my dream). I remember one that I woke up panting and paranoid (because I was running from someone). And honestly, I wasn’t scared. I didn’t see it as a spiritual thing (like my culture might have made me do), I only talked about it to a friend and it was on a very light mood. I was sure I’m fine, I’m in a good place (could be better tho) where relating with God is. So I basically just assumed it might just be images that conjured up because of the different Action and Crime movie series I’ve been watching lately. So no worries.
Well, until this last Sunday when I woke up with a very bad body pain which was all over (with more concentration on my thighs). Apparently, I had a nightmare where I was fighting using my body and kicked so hard till I woke up. What made this nightmare different was the pains, it felt so real but I chose not to pay attention to it. I went to church, went for lunch, came back and had a nap. I woke up from the nap with a very high body temperature and that was when I panicked. This ain’t no joke. . . Couldn’t reach my mum so I called my Pastor who prayed with me late that night because I was so scared to sleep (what I didn’t realize was that those struggles in my dreams was my body fighting the fever hitting it – I think it should have a psychological link tho).
I told a friend who insisted I go to the hospital because he has read about malaria causing nightmares and my symptoms are obviously fever so he encouraged me to treat malaria, which I did, the next day (Monday).
I took to Google (make it your bestfriend) to do my personal research and guess what I saw, he was right. According to FDA reports on ehealthme.com; Nightmares is found among people with Malaria, especially for people who are male, 20-29 years old, gender wise – 47.77% female and 52.23%male. I also found out that there are some co-existing conditions for people who have nightmares when down with malaria, and these are;
– Vestibular Disorder (disorders of the body’s balance (vestibular) system in the inner ear)
– Enteritis Infectious (infection with feline parvovirus (fpv), also known as feline panleucopenia virus)
– Preventive Health Care
– Multiple Allergies (allergy to multiple agents)
– Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
While the top symptoms for people with nightmares when malaria hits them includes;
– Insomnia (sleeplessness)